Healing from WITHIN…

by developer1_webspresso
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Hey PRIDE,

Ever sat with a friend or family member who is reliving past pain like it happened just yesterday..?

There they sit owning every part of that hurt story still fresh in their minds and picking nonstop at their wound.

I remember one friend noting that I had the worst memory for recollecting things from the past, because when probed my memory proved to be as sketchy as if the particular incident in question never happened.

 I realised then that this was actually my self-built and mastered story of healing. I dear reader, do not hold on to my painful past and experiences. As soon as I see I have survived and am on my way to a brighter future of less pain, I let go of that ‘story’ having any ownership over my life.

And this I do only for things that have caused me pain, because I do not want to reopen that wound I am healing from. My happier stories become my lifeline and I will, with pleasure retell the stories of my good times for years to come.

But let me say this. I do the work to heal, I journal it out – names and causers of pain included, I go for an intense walk, scream and shout it out of my system somewhere out in nature, and make my way home feeling a little more in control of my feelings and emotions.

And if I need to seek professional help, I do that too. So that when my wound has healed, there is no pain still trapped inside.

I am also healing from tuning into things that don’t serve me to my highest state of peaceful being.

Must be this Covid life that I am living, because tuning into bad news seems to be an entire pandemic on its own.

Which in turn has resulted in me suffering from mental fatigue, overall burn out, misdirected anger and anxiety that wasn’t even mine to own in the first place.

I got tired of it all and my mind and body screamed TIME OUT!!!

It took the 3rd wave of the Covid pandemic to throw me out of my usual surroundings, upon which I found myself temporarily living along the coast.

Who would I be without the usual drama filled chatter I had become so accustomed to tuning into?

With the sea as my new backdrop, I found there was no need to be indoors tuning into every single news bulletin, sad telephone conversations with friends and family and raising my anxiety levels to near breaking point.

My four walls shifted and my outlook on the life I was living also changed to a new, brighter and happier perspective. As I looked over to the immense sea, I felt an undeniable stirring of hope.

Life outdoors will do that I have come to learn, because what nature does, in all its exquisite form – is get you out of your own mind and focused on things that just simply make you smile and appreciate life.

When I stepped outside of my tuning into bad news addiction, and took just a moment to smell the fresh air, lap up the sea breeze and enjoy the sun – my pain turned to gratitude.

Lockdown life had me caged inside my house, completely forgetting there was nature just the other side of my four walls, and in this very new and delightful case – the open sea has helped wash all that mental fog away.

So healing from within also needed me to work in conjunction with stepping outside of my own self-inflicted boundaries in order to change my perspective.

It was the mental rut that I needed to heal most from. Having dug my own dark tunnel of doom and despair and believing there was no way out, by stepping outside ever so often I’ve found that I get to…

Breathe
Slow Down
Count my blessings

There’s a happier and more cheerful me being reborn and I am thrilled it is happening during this unusual time.

Because waiting for the perfect moment to do my work of healing has proven to be a thing of the past.

Now I find that I don’t attach myself to the daily painful news and sad stories. I’d rather turn to nature and breathe that positive energy in and do the work to continue healing from within…

With Love & PRIDE,

Nthabi Taukobong

 

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